We know the tantrums, the outbursts, the screaming, and or the bolting. We know that something has caused our little one to have a lot of feelings all at once, but how do we help when it feels like everything we do makes it worse? I wish I could tell you a magic phrase to say and abracadabra.. smiles, rainbows, and giggles occur. Unfortunately, I have not learned that phrase… well maybe saying “ice cream time” could help... but that isn’t the point. 

When our little ones have big feelings and they are expressing them in inappropriate ways we need to teach them coping skills. While handing them a bowl of ice cream might actually cause the screaming to stop, that isn’t going to happen in the “real world” so we should prepare them for independent success. 

Coping skills are used when someone is overstimulated and or upset. They are a teaching strategy used to calm down our bodies and minds so that we can communicate in a socially acceptable way. A few coping skills to practice with your little one include:

• taking deep breaths

• counting to 10

• using a fidget toy

• taking a cold drink of water.

You can also dim the lights in the room, place them under a weighted blanket, and reduce the noise. 

The coping strategies listed above are wonderful tools and have the ability to help individuals immensely…but let’s take it one step further. What if along with taking a deep breath we taught them to pray. What if along with counting to 10 we taught them to recite a memory verse. What if we taught our children that Jesus is the answer to our highs and lows, to our anxious thoughts, to our anger, and to our frustration? That is how we change lives.