Does the word punishment seem scary to anyone else? As I became a parent myself I looked at my sweet newborns face and was convinced punishment would never be needed. I smelled that sweet newborn aroma and was instantly in love. Not to say I am still not totally fooled by my little one’s cheeks and sweet cuddles still to this day, but I did quickly learn that punishment was needed for him to be successful in the future. 

Like I said earlier, the perception of the word punishment can really be a turn off, but when we look at the definition from a behavioral standpoint we can all take a deep breath together. Punishment is defined as the addition or removal of an item that results in a behavior DECREASE. When we use punishment we are trying to decrease an unwanted behavior. For example, if a child hits their sibling when they are upset, we want to decrease that behavior. 

The way punishment is delivered does not have to be the way we were introduced to punishment as a child, and in some circumstances I highly suggest it not be. Some suggestions to try would be have a token board and when inappropriate behavior occurs remove a token (negative punishment). If after a certain amount of time has passed and they still have tokens then the child gets to do or get something they enjoy. Another suggestion would be to add a task to do before they have free time (positive punishment). For example, your little one throws their food on the floor. You prompt them to pick it up before they are able to move on. If they are resisting I would suggest a hand over hand approach (you move their hand for them to pick up the food) to stay consistent with your expectations. 

Note: if the behavior is not decreasing then punishment is not occurring. If the form you use doesn’t work, that doesn’t mean it needs to be more severe but instead it needs to come in a different form.